Jules

This site is so funny. Please, do yourselves a favor and dive into the pool of celebrity snark that is gofugyourself.com. Here's a little gem to get you started.

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/08/a_fug_affair_1.html

“Deep waters cannot quench love, nor floods sweep it away” - Song of Songs 8:7

Oh, dear god. This is definitely the beginning of the apocalypse. They're bad enough on their own, but if Britney and Kevin join their forces of white trash and godawful, it might be the end of the world.

http://entertainment.msn.com/music/hotgossipc3?GT1=7702

In other news, this is probably the best thing ever.

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Barbie is not a slut - her legs won't open

Do not waste your time and money seeing Nacho Libre. I wish I had just gone to bed. grrr. I want my $8 back.

Now it's time for Mr.T.

Body: Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says, "I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.

They don't get old..

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.

Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.

P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.

Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.

The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.

When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

These just never get old...


When Chuck Norris falls into the water he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chucked.

I promise I'll update real soon katieweaver1982. :)

So I checked my e-mail this morning and I had an alumni update from my college. One of the articles was about how Michael Brown will be speaking there May 1st and the topic is "When the Plan Isn't Working, What Do You Learn and How Do You Move On?"

( Here is the text of the press release )

Am I wrong to be a bit angry about this? My biggest problem is that he is profiting from and making a mockery of his failure as head of FEMA. Anyone see his jokes on the Colbert Report? Well, if you care ( here is my response to the college )

( The college's reply )
( My final reply to her )
( Her final reply to me )

Next stop, Divorce City. Who are these people? Good god.

My summary of tonight's New Orleans Mayoral debate:

Virginia Boulet: "Can't we all just get along? Come on...everyone hold hands and let's sing kumbaya..."

Rob Couhig: "Inconceivable! Empowerment, not entitlement!"

Ron Forman: "Uhhhhhh......Come to the Audubon Zoo. I have no clue what's going on."

Mitch Landrieu: "I'm better than all of you. That's all you need to know."

Ray Nagin: "Looka here now...I'm suave. Elect me."

Rev. Tom Watson: "You all hate black people. I'm a preacher. Separation of church and state? Pfft. Vote for me."

Peggy Wilson: "TAX FREE CITY GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I've decided I'm going to bring home a boy that will love me unconditionally. His name is Chachy.

( My new little man... )

Oh noes!!! Corporate America angst!!11!1

http://community.livejournal.com/neworleans/2067464.html?thread=14336264#t14336264\

LOL I can't effing wait for them to open the new Walmart grocery on Williams in Kenner. Why? Because I'm lazy and poor. It's almost across the street from work (lazy) and it's cheap (poor). Yay Walmart!

What I don't understand is why people think if you spend some dough at Wally World, that you won't spend ANY one local biz. Let's see... Last weekend, I dropped about $500 in local clothing stores Uptown. (This is why I'm poor now.) Then I went and bought a $5 pack of socks and a pack of batteries from Walmart. Hmm..who do you think got the better end of that deal?

RIP Peter Tomarken



No Whammies! No Whammies! No Whammies! STOP! Aww.

( Annnnnnnnnnnd..... )

ohmyfuckinggod We can afford granite countertops!!!

Ok so, I'm lame. Whatever. It's a big deal to me. Eff you Formica. It's granite for us.

Our house is going to be so pretty. I'm so excited! Remind me to thank my parents for starting a construction company and letting me reap the benefits.

Our Act of Sale has been pushed back to next Friday, the 10th. poop. BUT the good news is the cabinets I'm ordering should only take one to three weeks to come in! No more waiting 8 weeks! Oh man...it's a good day. I'm so giddy.

In other news...The Garden District is having a show in Baton Rouge tonight. Of course I'll be there. Jono and I are leaving after they play because he is sick. Hooray for not staying in Baton Rouge until 2 am! So, if you Baton Rouge folks or anyone you know wants to rock out tonight, we'll be at Rotolo's.

Mardi Gras was fun. I LOVE hanging out with rockstars (and their wives and family). If this is a sign of things to come, I think I'm going to like the rest of my life. Everything else was pretty uneventful, so I won't go into it.

My new roommate has moved in. He's a friend of my sister's and he's pretty nice. He keeps to himself a lot. He's always either on the computer in his room, or out. So, no biggie. woot.

I have a bajillion things to do at work. I'll update more later.

You're pretentious and I don't like it very much at all. That's ok. You're lame. L.A.M.E. ha.

I'm gonna make some tacos for dinner. ha HA.

?

Happy Valentine's Day. Jonathan has some surprise up his sleeve for me tonight. I hope I'm not still grumpy. I need some kisses from Wilson.

The Garden District was offered a gig in Austin during SXSW (South By Southwest is like the biggest music industry convention type thing). Awesome. Too bad it's on a Wednesday and I can't go. I hate that. The really good thing is some famous friends are going to try to get some "industry people" to the show. Famous friends are nice.

I managed to score 6 tickets for the Better Than Ezra show on Feb. 24 at the House of Blues. Sweet.

My dad just hit my car and now I can't open my door all the way. He didn't even know he did it. What a goofball.

I need a haircut. Bad.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Happy birthday to me.

I'm getting old. I should probably buy stock in Depends and Ensure. :)